Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. It's either a number or a letter! this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. I want more Punch! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Your dad's runnin' late. Pass the salt, Edward. You don't want to get fried. Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Alexandre Dumas was black. Anybody have more punch? Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. 2023. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. No phones. Five hundred on the line. Laura Lee Winslow: No! Carl Otis Winslow: I know. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! Wha? I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. I can see my dad! What's up? Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Wha? I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Sorry. Can't see a darn thing. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Steve is the perfect son. [kisses Laura] Love you. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. You gotta fix that machineeeee. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Steve could've been killed. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. We are properly trained. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Laura: I was thinking about taking a home economics class so I can learn how to cook. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. Why would somebody do this to me?' Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! You understand? And we practiced for six minutes! Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Steve Urkel: Could. And him. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Waldo: I got close once. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! I'm Stefan sweet thing. White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Ken: [Grabbing Steve by the collar] THAT FEEB YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT WAS ME! Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. One Now, let's read it! Laura: Thank you, Steve. So, is it all right with you? [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Rachel Crawford: Oh. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? 6. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Would you rather be buried or cremated? I love you more than life itself. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. What did you do? While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. I can teach you how to cook. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Harriette: Who cares? Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. Judy Winslow: Boring. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Laura: No! I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Carl: Typical. Does that about cover it? I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. Mucus comes in so many colors. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Wow, are you wearing a bra? Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Harriette Winslow: But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. Eddo. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Why, how low can you get? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Whoo! Pull your gun right now. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. The valet gave me a tip. Anywhere away from my Laura. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. I'm in this class. Ouchith! Stop the music! Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. And we practiced for six minutes! Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out.

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