my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

Of course, all this pressure makes it harder for sex to seem to go well.". But maybe if shes willing to try your weekly sex date again, she might find that once youve aroused her, the mood sails in. I feel so much pain amd resentment!!! But then she had a full hysterectomy to further reduce her hormone production, and from then on, sex has all but stopped. I demonstrate my love for her in so many ways, little notes, letters, flowers messages in song, other women including young women I work with say they would love to have someone who loves and respects their partner and relationship like I do. Ask your wife what she likes and what would be sexy and pleasurable for her. Post-menopausal sex, for many women, is a meal offering little flavour or nutrition. She has become a roommate and a friend, but not a wife that gives me the joy and love we used to have. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Says I dont turn him on Im to fat. I have difficulty ejaculating and often, cannot get erections with her. I look good for my age and am so tempted to look for another relationship. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. Either something happened that made her feel that way or shes lying. Talk to your wife about the lack of intimacy, 11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse Spice Up YourMarriage, 200 Newlywed Game Questions For That Instant Bonding, 45 Questions To Ask Your Husband For A Heart-To-Heart Conversation, Why Is Marriage Important? My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. 24 years younger than I. If the lack of interest becomes an ongoing pattern, consider any of the above potential reasons. It may sound strange, but I actually take some comfort out of reading other peoples comments and stories: I am not alone I also dearly love my wife and would never leave her, but a sexless life (10+ years) is the sad reality. Just curious. Womens inherent nesting instinct naturally shifts their focus to family and kids, and this may, in turn, affect the mind space she can allocate to you and sexual desires. I like to think there is hope but unsure. Having a regular marriage check-in can help you keep an eye on your relationship and ensure you are satisfied with how much time you spend together in the bedroom. When a woman notices that you have an affinity for what she loves, she gets curious, thereby increasing her desire for you. I dont know why your husband would even want to be intimate with you, you sound like a harpy. **Women are constantly told to shut up and accept. Work and motherhood can be overwhelming, so instead of asking her for sex at the end of the day when youre both exhausted, start planning for it. Please, do us all a favor and retire from the one thing you SHOULD be retiring from-giving advice. Only once really in love. She needs you to see the world from her eyes and to understand her perspective. Here are some possible openings finesse one or more of these to fit your comfort and style: I strongly suggest that you see a sex therapist (find one in your location) or a sex-savvy counselor for guidance. Send Joan your questions by emailingsexpert@seniorplanet.org. He said hed think about this. There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. That had bee. Tried Testosterone replacement but it made me very sick and ended up in the emergency room with complications . We have had a fall out now and it is the elephant Could it be that your wife avoids intimacy and shuns the idea of making love? "Having small children is a frequent and legitimate excuse for not having sex.". I dont thinks this was the place to sound your horn (pun). My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). Well said my friend. After chemo and radiation, they put her on hormone suppression drugs, which reduced her libido a lot. Youre right that its a huge, painful problem. That was then and she is gone now. If that's true for your marriage, your wife may be holding onto some resentment over the imbalance. Genuinely compliment your wife and make her feel sexy again. All that said, unless your wife has a known health condition that she's currently managingor she's had a very sudden and significant change in her sex drivedon't assume that her lack of interest in having sex with you means something is medically wrong with her. Behind heart broken!!! 30 years I kept saying to myself.itll get better Now I have ED. Open a conversation with your wife about how she's feeling about you and the marriage, big picture, and go from there. I havent yet but I am going to find sex outside my home. We does not seeem to need to hug or cuddle either. I wouldnt even care if he watched or joined. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. Take the good with the bad. If your wife never initiates physical contact, it could be that horror of horrors you may be bad in bed. Im over 60 and Im learning to accept this is the way life is going to be for the rest of my life. Being in a sexless marriage is great, we havent had sex, intimacy togetherness for 40 years. But she is just not sexually attracted to me. She may be experiencing depression or a lack of self-confidence, or maybe she feels like she's failing at this parenting thing. But it also means were in a status quo that just isnt satisfying. I have a high libido and masterbate frequently, which I know she is aware of. My opinion only, so, most likely only worthy in my estimation. I did some self searching and recognized that the marriage had been one of convenience and the love wasnt there for me. Id been wearing blinders believing shed never cheat. I wish she would just go away and never come back, shes got just about everything I own. That communication will be open and honest, and circumstances in lifegood or bad, should never break this mutual promise. Hmmm. I know that it sounds crazy but I never thought about it but that part of our problem came to a head after our 35 year old son (our only child) was killed in an on the job accident. I had a feeling he was going to leave me in no time and he later did this was After 3 years of marriage, my husband left me and never returned. s.setAttribute('data-timestamp', +new Date()); We received a relationship query from a man who wanted to spice things up with his wife of 29 years, but was struggling to make headway because of the spouses inhibitions. Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. He's a great dad, and a considerate husband. Men are very simple to please. Hi Monica, You ladies need to get hip on new Sex Play & Sex Toys, My wife of 1yr,(she is 73) ( Im 77) We were having sex every nite & 3 times on weekendsand it all came to a STOP about a month ago. If your husband rejects your hugs, kisses, and touch, there's something wrong. I am so tired of these therapists and all there lets support the one who doesnt want sex but dismiss the one who is still in love and desires romance more than anything with KEEP MASTURBATING Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. Our marriage became almost sexless in 2006 when our 17 year old son was killed in an accident. If its just drynesswhich is common as women ageas well as using lubricant youll also want to be sure that your wife is aroused, even before any genital touching. In the meantime,, get naked and take care of your partners needs because as you can see on this strand, there are plenty of people out there who will! He sits around the house and watches tv all day long. I just dont understand. She started losing interest when our children were youngshed be OK with sex once or twice a month, and only when she was in the mood. Your wife may not know how to put up her mom hat for the day and refocus on herself, which includes enjoying every aspect of her marriage. I realize that I really dont know your reasons for not wanting to be sexual with me whether it hurts you, or theres something Im doing or not doing. My only suggestion would be to get out of this marriage and fast. I hope that she too will woo me, always, as well. I have come to that conclusion also. Let the in-laws or best friend care for your children for a day or two. There is simply no point in brushing the problem under the carpet. I need love that bad to hang on to a partner that never wants sex? I have tried to have a heartfelt conversation but he is not willing to talk about it. She put in over $300K on our $1M house and I told her we may need to sell it when my youngest graduates high school. And I cook, shop for food, take care of dogs and have. She is a poor communicator and no matter how much I ask she gives me the silent treatment and thinks its OK. Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. It has been years since my wife and I have had sex. i do not want to go outside the marriage so i guess living with the problem is the. I am happy all the time, my hair is twice as thick as it was before, I had urge incontinence, which completely disappeared, it cut my knee joint pain in half, and best of all, I love sex again. They learn to accept the situation and carry on with life. But my wife was not. Mens sexual needs are purely physical and need to be fulfilled regularly. None of us know how to read, converse or think. I see a divorce in the near future. 1. Now its more about independence- Im tired of living in my spouses value system . For the months it was possible, I felt like a real man again, and much stronger at home and work. He has performance anxiety. For others that are on the borderline of this happening: While its good to get to the root of the problem so you can resume a healthy, happy relationship, checking in with yourself is also good. */ Many health issues can affect a woman's sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. My 20 year marriage imploded because my husband completely lost his testosterone at age 55. Its worth discussing with your doctor. Divorce is not an option, But when the second son moves out to college there is an option I take his bedroom AND there is an option I go on an extended car road trip for a few months. When a woman looses her ovaries and/or had a hysterectomy the sex drive goes. Seeing a therapist or speaking with her doctor about her mental health is a step in the right direction to help you recognize the woman you fell in love with. But no cuddling, spooning, showers, surprise hugs or squeezes, in bed we may as well be cousins or brother and sister as we just sleep on our own side and no touches. "The typical, goal-oriented 'round-the-bases' approach to sex doesn't inspire, arouse, or satisfy women," relationship coach Bez Stone writes at mbg. :(, Wow Chris D!! Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. I think the resolve here is to tell the parent who is confiding in you to seek professional help, and then bud out. He shows no interest or emotional desire to engage in sex or affection. But after years without, I cant help but fantasize about past experiences, which makes me feel SO guilty. Ive just seen this ,not sure when posted .ive tried so hard to get wife to have sex .she says menopause.then I gave up.but other we I had a beer and told her how I felt .silly beer a..so she been trying to start sex but my body has closed down to her .im worried ive turned off to her mentally.I do love her but shes noticed im not getting aroused like I used too .and now shes saying I prefer porn, but its how ive got by for so long.its really .mested up.im 53sorry. I havent found a way to replace that feeling of a man. Im 59, wife 63 and the big M has hit her like you have said it did you. I told her that I did not want that, That I only wanted her but she said she loves me but has no sexual feelings, it is slowly destroying me and I do not know what to do, she refuses to talk about it, will not spoon in bed and pulls away from any hug. Bull. 20yrs old. Once you've looked at yourself, talk to her and pay attention to how she's feeling. He is correct, the therapists want you to have hope so they can have the clients, I spent plenty on it and made numerous loving conversations. For the most part, her doctor (A woman) has told her that it was time to give it up. If it was the husband doing that wives would be screaming How dare You. It is time to say, I am horny as hell, and I am tired of pretending I am not because I am over 50!. the you. Here are some things that you can try if you want to get intimate with your spouse. So its a trope that the man is always the one with the higher desire and the one left frustrated. A lot of my friends say their husbands are like that, too. Your email address will not be published. What to about it: Learn how to make a woman have an orgasm and how to make sex better for women. })(); I understand women loss interest but still love there husbands and dont want a divorce and most of the time its the same for the guy, I just wish women would be open to their husbands having discreet affairs, not prostitutes just flings. Nothing is out of bounds! Since abstinence for so long Im wondering what will happen if a woman takes an interest in a 70-year-old man. I actually envy those that are single. We see each other on a daily basis staying busy to supplement our income and find time to make love once per week. First woman with the same situation!! If you love him why cant you help him be happy a few times a week I dont get that part, it is just a little bit of your time and you could set all the rules or boundaries of what you are and are not willing to do. has he? Men empathize with women in a way that women do not with men; men *want* to make decisions that benefit women, individually and as a group (the Women are Wonderful effect, which both men and women exhibit). In the real world things are very different. If you guys love your wives and wanna stay till death and your having problems with containment, I lost all desire because I have no testosterone so its been a God send to me. The guy is a magnet! Research shows that women who had a positive view of themselves reported higher levels of intimate encounters and arousal. The wife never initiates physical contact if shes unhappy with the strength of the relationship, says Gopa. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. This sounds exactly like my situation although I am the husband. Fear Of The Wife How Real Is It For Modern Men? Man, thats no way to respond to your wife, person you care deeply about whos saying to you that theyre experiencing mental health crisis in your relationship. Husbands (and I was one) are men who figured out too late that they are being played for fools. I hate her for cheating me out of sex. Now masturbation does not work so well. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. Agree, I have accepted the fact Im now in a sexless marriage, ugh! Hi Theresa, I might even know you, you sound just like someone I know. he is very persistent. Harley, yeah I believe men are more likely to complain then women in places like this. Some older couples and married partners with physical disabilities make it work every day and have a satisfying relationship. I feel I am too old to move on by myself, most everything in our relationship is good, but sex is very bad. I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! But I do it, why? It also says that we are to make our bodies our patents, not ours. Have sexual experiences together that don't revolve around intercourse. I guess my story isnt as bad as many. Ive been led to believe Im the selfish one for thinking of leaving just over sex. Take care of your body and mind! Then extreme back problems thru me into disability. About 10 % Love 90% Hate. Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. 2. Just be sensitive to what she's going through: If she's dealing with a significant illness or painful condition, for example, it may not be appropriate to push for more sex at this time. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. This isnt one of those seasons things, she believing a lie from the devil to her, to destroy your marriage. And that's perfectly fine! 18 months later I was told NO sex, by the way we had not had regular sex for near 15 years, and Sexless for near 10. But. This went on for years.

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